Tuesday, 6 March 2007

Of dickheads behind desks and fucktards behind the wheel...

Let me start with the dickheads. Having recently moved to a new place, i'm dying to lay my hands on an ADSL connection. Reason being that my former neighbour who was so freely providing me with access to his wireless net connection (unknowingly of course) having forgotten to secure the darned thing with a password. Too bad i couldn't find him a place close by. So i go to SLT yesterday, pick out the form "new ADSL applicants", fill it out and go to the guy that's sitting at a desk who is obviously free.

Guy-at-Desk (hereinafter GAD) - "no sir, u need to go talk to the lady sitting over there" (points finger towards a lady)
Since the lady has two ppl with her i patiently wait 10 minutes next to GAD. At 10 minutes on the dot this is what followed...
GAD - "sir, don't worry i can do it from here" (why in fucks sake didnt u say so in the first place?) So i hand him the application.
GAD - "what do u want?" (It boldly says "APPLICATION FOR NEW ADSL CONNECTION" on the form)
Me - "err...new ADSL connection"
he types in the tel no into the system.
GAD - "sir, number is registered to someone else"
Me - "yes i know i just moved in there"
GAD - "cant give connection"
Me - ???? "why not?"
GAD - "not ur house"
Me - "I just moved in there 3 days ago. The connection might be in his name but from now i'm paying the bill"
GAD - "doesnt matter. cant give connection"

at which point the lady he originally pointed out to comes along (let's just call her P. Vesi, for her name should've been that)
P. Vesi - "whats the problem"
GAD explains situ
P.Vesi - "cant give connection"
(wtf, are u guys inserted with the same broken record when u join SLT?)
Me - "madam, i've just moved in there, i'm the one who will be paying for the connection charges as well as the monthly fee. i will also be paying the telephone charges for that line. This guy the phone is registered to doesn't live there. Even if u give the connection in his name and i decide not to pay for it, then ur in trouble coz u cant get me to pay for it! Can't u see it's better if u just give the connection in my name? it's better for u? (bills get paid) it's better for slt? (new customer)"
If i was her right now, i'd be like "yeah sure sir no problem, i'm sorry abt the confusion, if it's a new connection u want that'll bring us money that we're not earning right now yeah u can have it"
P.Vesi "cant give connection".

Me - "i need to speak to a manager"
Points me to Fat lady who obviously struggled to get behind her desk, and struggled even more to sit at her chair which has two arm rests. Her intricately over padded love handles now rest on them with a sigh of joy for her, with a heave of horror for anyone who walks past. She sits there with a look that says "customer is king, but i'm the queen bee, bitch"

So i nervously go up to her
Me - ...ah fuck it, i just explain to her the scenario
Queen - "cant give connection"
at this point i'm convinced those three words are what is in the SLT manual for new employees under the insightful heading "Customer Service for Dummies".
Me - "lady, if i decide not to pay, u can't force me to if the connection is in his name....It's in ur best interests that it be in my name...dont u comprehend? tu estupido? tum paagal ladki? thamuseta hukana molayak nadda oyyy!?!"
Queen - "cant give connection"

At which point i get up, laugh in the bitches face for i'm convinced those are the only 3 words they all know, pick out another form and leave. I'm gonna fucking put my name down the way they want it (in the other guy's name of course), sign it, and go to another outlet.

Are the majority of Sri Lankans incapable of thinking outside the box? Maybe think "hey this might be a good thing after all" instead of following the rubbish that is dished out to them? AGH!

On the bright side, i'll have ADSL soon anyway. Under my new alias of course.

Was going to post about the fucktards on the roads. But they don't even deserve a bloody mention. But if u do meet em, pass the msg "pls drive straight, don't cut into my lane coz u see a small enough space thats only big enough to fit ur puny dick, don't give me shit when u fuck up, and finally RED MEANS FUCKING STOP!

boy...lots of angst in me...that felt better.

4 musings:

Anonymous said...

erm looks like someone needs anger management lessons!!!!

Theena said...

Coincidentally, I've just had a nightmare experience with SLT's ADSL "HelpLine"

So I purchased my new laptop go home and try connecting to the internet on the laptop via my existing ADSL connection. Windows XP, as always, fucked up giving me some arcane error message.

Natually, I called SLT and the woman who answered the phone said "Can't be, no?" about five time before she transfered it to the network technicians. (Why I wasn't sent directly to the technicians in the first place I will never understand)

The network technician, being the original guy that he is, kept saying, "Can't be, no" throughout as well.

I finally asked him if SLT is willing to send an engineer over to fix the problem. This is where it gets hillarious.

Him: So is the modem working on the other computer?"

Me: I've already told you: the modem is working fine on my computer. Its when I try to connect via my new laptop that I run into problems.

Him: So you can connect to the internet?

Me? */%^&*%^?

Him: Then you don't need another connection.

Me: What?

Him: You already have connection, no?

Me: Yes, but...

Him: Then you don't need another connection.

Me: But I am going to stop using the computer and use the laptop exclusively.

Him: Then you have to pay us for the installation charges.

Me: What? Are you retarded? I paid you guys three years back for the installation charges and you guys never turned up. I did it myself then.

Him: Sorry, you have to pay. Can't help.

Me: What the fuck...

Him: *hangs up*

Darwin said...

That's hilarious! P-vesi, LOL!

Sachintha said...

LOL it seems people at all the ADSL related places are a bit messed up.

When I applied for ADSL - it was when they gave that free modem when we get ADSL - it took me three visits just to hand the form. First, they said they can't give the connection cos the phone was to my father's name! So then, I had to bring a letter from him. Then, when I did, the fucking bitch said the signature was different and they can't give it. FFS, it was my father who signed it! So instead I had to bring him along and hand the form.

Then they promised to give the conn. within a week, which turned out to be three.
So I call them.
"Thaama modems awilla na ne"
I was like WTF?
I mean, if they were going to give an offer like that, shouldn't they be prepared first?
So another couple of weeks goes by, with the same answer.

So finally I was like totally pissed off so called the hotline and asked the same question again to which I got the now familiar reply. I just exploded, and showered the lady there with.. err.. all imaginable words...

Then I asked for the manager. And she was like "Sorry sir, ada manager awilla na ne"
So, then I again just vent my anger at her and hung the phone.

Not two days went by, I got a call saying come pick up the modem!
LOL...