Choices

I was just reading Gutterflower's latest post, and it reminded me about something i've been thinking of lately. It's a concept that's hard to explain, but it involves choices, space, personal idiosyncrasies, personalities, social groups, religions, age and basically everything else that makes each of us so very different to the other. See, of late I've noticed that a lot of Sri Lankan people are interested in, and have an opinion on, the general subject of "others". This involves the clothes other people wear, the food they eat, the places they go, the choices they make, and so on. I mean, it is inherent in our blood and beings that we are born gossips. But, sometimes it goes a little too far. For instance, have you ever come across the term "socialites" in Sri Lanka? It generally refers to young metrosexual guys and girls who are usually dressed to kill, party all the time and act in a more "western" fashion than you'd expect from the average Sri Lankan teen (ASLT). Ok they are different from ASLTs, but I've come across many people who don't like partying and that sort of lifestyle but say "oh I'm not a socialite, i don't need to act like that". See, that's the thing that irks me. If it's not your thing, don't judge people who might like such stuff. Just say it's not your kind of thing and move on. This applies to almost everything back home. I've heard Stigmata being branded as "wannabe's" just cause they dress differently and look strange. But they are the best fucking metal band in town! So if metal and that sort of lifestyle is not your thing, hate the game, don't hate the player! Even if a person chooses to wear a short skirt, or to listen to Brittney Spears, or to get married at 16, or to walk with their hands, or chooses to do anything else that might be different to your interests, try and understand that everyone is different and no two people are alike. You may have your own beliefs, but the next person to you is not a bad person just because he/she has their own! One of the reasons people love to live abroad rather than in Sri Lanka is that, when abroad, no one gives a damn about what you do. In Sri Lanka, we make it a point to make everyone elses life our own responsibility. People were born to be different. Live and let live! After all, you wouldn't want people passing judgement on the way you live your life, right? We're all but oil and water. Oil and water.

If I Was Prabhakaran...

...I would be thinking to myself that this armed war type of thing has been going on for a while with not much success. I must prove to those southern buggers that I'm a nice, like-able kinda guy. Cause if the South believes I'm a trustworthy, decent chap, they might actually consider me as a plausible alternative to dearly beloved Mahinda. So for starters, if I was Prabhakaran, before wasting another suicide bomber, I would blow up Mervyn Silva to smithereens. I'd plant not one, but two claymores on either side of the road so that he gets hit from both sides, much like he did at Rupavahini, only with much more force and shrapnel. That should win me support from the masses. Tell me. What would you do if you were Prabhakaran?

Road Rules 101

A little while ago, I stepped out of commons with the missus after gorging down one of those delightfully sinful chocolate things. You know, the one that's slightly hard, but is made of a brownie casing, with chocolate mousse in the middle and icing sugar sprinkled on top. Wow! So anyway, as soon as we stepped out, a plain-clothed policeman stopped us and told us to move back towards the door. He said the road was closed. The road was indeed deserted in a way that only Mahinda Rajapaksha can have done on a busy Thursday afternoon. So then the motorcade swept past, at which point my days of reading the Highway Code flashed before me. I've never seen the convoys go by so fast! Here are a couple of the road rules that I noted were broken in the minute of officials flying by at high speeds. 1. Excessive speeding - the convoy was easily doing well over 130km/h on flower road. How dangerous is that? 2. Driving on the wrong side of the road. 3. Driving without a number plate - almost all the vehicles had no plate! 4. Overtaking on the wrong side - a backup jeep over took one of the black beemers from the left! 5. (W)reckless driving - goes without saying. Put's a whole load of pedestrians and road-side buildings in jeapordy. 6. Exhaust emissions being over the allowed limit - the emissions were black. Just the other day I saw a cop stopping a vehicle for the same offence at Maradana junc. Wonder where he is today! These are the days I wish we had the services of Kiran Bedi, the first female offer of the Indian Police Force, who is famous for being a tough cop - a reputation she earned by even booking the prime minister of India's vehicle for illegal parking.

Death by Bureaucracy

What a bright and sunny morning. Stark contrast to the heavy rains of last week. But the gloom of exams still hangs over. Short of notes. 5 days to go. Headed over to the Open University first thing in the morning so that i could buy a few books and then head to work. I get there at 2 minutes to 9. Obviously, the shop was closed. My private sector punctuality was a mismatch to his public sector career. The King of the bookshop entered his court at a quarter past 9. Smart looking chap. I underestimated his insight into his job. See, he manages the bookshop for all the subjects taught at the Open Uni, so there are a bloody lot of books there. So i never expected him to know what I was looking for. But lo and behold, I had to only mention the subjects and he swiftly pulled out what i needed. Maybe government servants were on the ball after all. hmm. He starts writing out what I thought was a receipt. I pull out my wallet. Count out the cash. He hands me the paper he was scribbling on. Tells me to take it upstairs (which is a bit of a distance away considering his throne was at the back of the building) and pay it at the finance department. Sweet. Maybe I shouldn't have underestimated him cause he was only following orders and he did what he had to do well. But I should've known his department was going to spring this one on me. But I made the mistake of underestimation again. See, I thought I could stroll into the finance department, pay the thing, come back, get my books and go. How wrong I was. So I go up to the cashier and surrender the paper. He takes one look at it, gives it back and tells me to get it signed from an office "over there". So i head "over there" and ask the first guy I see who should I get this signed from. He points me over to a table which is surrounded by many eager ladies pulling at goodies that lay on the table as if it were a screaming nugegoda vedor's ware on a saturday afternoon. So this lady seated behind the desk, who was the nugegoda vendor's substitute, quickly puts away a saree and jumps when she sees me there with my paper. She quickly signs it, obviously embarrassed like a nugegoda vendor when caught selling fake goods. Then she points me to another "over there" and tells me to get it signed again by a manager. At this point I'm thinking WHY? So I go to the manager. He pulls out a calculator and checks to see whether the King (remember him?) has got the amount right. He signs it. I heave a sigh of relief. Head over back to the cashier who takes about 15 minutes to write out the actual receipt. Finally I get it and head back to the King who is in the middle of a long chat about the cricket with 3 others in his court. He takes the receipt without looking at how much I had paid, hands me the books, and finally i'm on my way... Why couldn't he have taken the payment in the first place? Wouldn't that make the whole process alot more productive for both myself and the department? Bloody red tape...You'll be the death of me.