Sunday, 13 April 2008


I was just reading Gutterflower's latest post, and it reminded me about something i've been thinking of lately. It's a concept that's hard to explain, but it involves choices, space, personal idiosyncrasies, personalities, social groups, religions, age and basically everything else that makes each of us so very different to the other.

See, of late I've noticed that a lot of Sri Lankan people are interested in, and have an opinion on, the general subject of "others". This involves the clothes other people wear, the food they eat, the places they go, the choices they make, and so on. I mean, it is inherent in our blood and beings that we are born gossips. But, sometimes it goes a little too far.

For instance, have you ever come across the term "socialites" in Sri Lanka? It generally refers to young metrosexual guys and girls who are usually dressed to kill, party all the time and act in a more "western" fashion than you'd expect from the average Sri Lankan teen (ASLT). Ok they are different from ASLTs, but I've come across many people who don't like partying and that sort of lifestyle but say "oh I'm not a socialite, i don't need to act like that". See, that's the thing that irks me. If it's not your thing, don't judge people who might like such stuff. Just say it's not your kind of thing and move on.

This applies to almost everything back home. I've heard Stigmata being branded as "wannabe's" just cause they dress differently and look strange. But they are the best fucking metal band in town! So if metal and that sort of lifestyle is not your thing, hate the game, don't hate the player!

Even if a person chooses to wear a short skirt, or to listen to Brittney Spears, or to get married at 16, or to walk with their hands, or chooses to do anything else that might be different to your interests, try and understand that everyone is different and no two people are alike. You may have your own beliefs, but the next person to you is not a bad person just because he/she has their own!

One of the reasons people love to live abroad rather than in Sri Lanka is that, when abroad, no one gives a damn about what you do. In Sri Lanka, we make it a point to make everyone elses life our own responsibility.

People were born to be different. Live and let live! After all, you wouldn't want people passing judgement on the way you live your life, right?

We're all but oil and water. Oil and water.

10 musings:

Darwin said...

Good point, BUT, have you noticed that your post is rather judgmental of people who are judgmental? :D

You've fallen into the very trap that you ask others to avoid!

Confab said...

haha, you almost got me there.

my post is encouraging people to be less judgmental. I guess it's something like constructive criticism?

Gutterflower said...

I believe that the way people choose to live their life is their own business. I really hope that I didn’t come off sounding like one of those people who make it their sole purpose in life to dictate other people’s lives and be prejudiced against something, which goes against their own ideals.

Believe me, that was the last thing on my mind. That’s one of the things I’m vehemently opposed to, and is extremely predominant in a culture as bigoted as ours and is one my biggest peeves.

I just feel that this particular friend of mine has been pushed into marriage by her parents. And that’s something, which really gets to me. I know her (slightly of course, but still….) and getting married was the last thing on her mind. She had ideas of going to Uni and all the rest of it. I highly doubt the guy would give his ‘consent’ for her to continue with her higher studies. And so, I guess you can understand my frustration and my venting and letting off steam on the blog.

I’m still maintaining my stance that 19 is a bit too young to tie the knot and marriage should be a two way decision but that’s just me. Like you said live and let live. So I’m going to let it go and take it into my stride.

Interesting post BTW. Really got me thinking on a lot of stuff.

pissu perera said...

hmmmm... i dunno. i don't think there's anything wrong with having an opinion as long as you don't try to impose your's on anyone else. you CAN have an opinion and still live and let live, can't you? imagine what a boring world it'll be if people had no opinions.

Anonymous said...

\\Even if a person chooses to wear a short skirt//

Even if it's a guy eh? What ever that blows their skirt up.. I guess... :)

Dili said...

chaarmax: He's talking about kilts. :) Funny, I didnt think Scots were tolerant of Britney.

In simple terms: As long as the proverbial "No animals were harmed during..." disclaimer runs through whatever one does, no one really should give a hoot.

I dont think thats a 100% true. Opinions should be tolerated and allowed. Those things can guide people. In gutterflowers case, what if the opinions of the friends convinces the bride that 19 is too young. The problem really is, as you said, when people pass judgement based on those opinions. People really should realise that their way isnt the only way and lose their second-rate god complexes. :P

P.S. - before anyone says my comment only covers animals, i'll hasten to say humans are animals in any sense of the word.


Confab said...

Gutterflower - 19 maybe too young for u to get married, but maybe she's ready for it. after all she seemed happy abt it right? also, parents push us to do things all the time. maybe urs are pushing u to study more. maybe hers to get married. the pushing, it's really the same thing u know.

PP - yeah sure ppl should have opinions, but there's a bit of a thin line between and opinion and a judgement. i'm not too fond of the latter.

Chaarmax - hey buddy if guys in short skirts does it for u, il still drink with u on a sat night.

dili - yeah, where do we draw the line when opining and judging is the question.

Anonymous said...

I didn't know you were into short skirts.. But I'd rather women in em.. or out of em.. wait a min I could get killed for this..

As for Sat nights.. we're missing you at SSC man.. get home soon..

Confab said...

machang, skirts off before marriage is a whole post altogether. i hope ur behaving ur self;)

Nick said...

Actaully I think people overseas care about appearances way more than people in Sri Lanka. In Sri Lanka its mostly the urbanised elite who do that. You know, the English-speaking, rich asses.