Tuesday, 23 September 2008

30076 Sujeewa, I wish you were dead

I just got a ticket and it wasn't my fault! Ok, i'm sure plenty of people have used that excuse, but hear me out!

So there I was driving my grandma, happily waiting in the single file line on Dickman's road heading towards Galle road. The light turns green, and I calculate that I can safely be the last car through the green light. Just when i reach the front, a blue Honda comes from the right (ON A SINGLE FILE ROAD YOU ASSHOLE! [that was for the cop, not u]) and cuts into me, at which point I take evasive action to avoid getting hit and inadvertently cross the junction on the yellow (AS DID THE BLUE HONDA, YOU STUPID FUCK!).

When I turn into Galle road with my horn blazing, I see a traffic cop and think "thank heavens, now stop that other car and charge him!". Instead the cunt stops me, says I ran the red light. At which point I just let him have it.

Me: "Dakke nadda ara vaahane maawa kapapu hati?" (Did you see how that car cut into me?)
30076 Sujeewa (hereinafter "WHOREliceman") : "oya rathu light eka panna" (You went through the red light)
Me: "eka panne ara vaahanen aynvenna. monawa dihaada oya balaang hitiye?" (I was trying to avoid the other car. what were you looking at?)
WHOREliceman: "oya rathu light eka panna" (you went through a red light)
Me: "AGH!. Dickman's paara one lane paarak neda?" (er. AGH!. Dickman's road is a one lane road, right?)
WHORE (for short): "ow" (yes)
Me: "ara vaahaney eliyen enakota, eya aave varadi paththe nemeida?" (when that other vehicle comes on the outside of me, is he not on the wrong side of the road?)
WHORE: "oya rathu light eka panna" (you went through a red light)
Me: "AGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH. Mama eka panne ara vaahanen ayn venna! eya maawa kapagena issarahata aava. eva oyata penne nadda?" (AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH. I jumped the light to avoid the car! He cut into me and jumped infront. You conveniently didn't see that did you?)

I just can't even remember much beyond that. I grabbed my ticket and walked the fuck away from him, got into my car and drove off.

I met many other nincompoops on the roads today. Today must definitely be "motorists, leave ur brains at home" day.

11 musings:

Shiny said...

Breathe, inhale.exhale,inhale.exhale.

Poor grandma,...in the midst of it all.

~ I*R*O*M*I ~ said...

Ahahaha. Superb. At least it provided us with a good laugh.
Calm down.

Scrumpulicious said...

Can someone please translate the convo into English? Obviously it won't sounds as funny but still... At least let me know what I should be laughing at!

Traffic police and some drivers are absolutely mental! :)

gutterflower said...

'Whoreliceman'

LMAO.

:D

Confab said...

Scrump, for ur reading pleasure I have translated the sinhalese :)

Neo said...

lol u bugger! so both of ull jumped the light no. I guess he cant stop 2 cars at once no? :D
u know cops are bitches. but u cant blame them for trying.
its like the speeding private bus which never gets ticketed. it's always u.

tip: dont give them ur license. present argument first :D

Confab said...

neo - no, see, i had nicely calculated hat i could be the last car through the damn lights. but when this guy cut into me right at the junction, i had slow down and swerve which made me lose speed. but yeah so we both went through a yellow, but since i was half a car length behind him i got stopped. agh

Lady divine said...

oh.. sorry to hear this...
Trust me, I've been through a similar situation...

I can't stand traffic cops! they would just do it for the amount that will fill their pockets later! gah!

Curse them all!!

TheWhacksteR said...

effing incompetent morons! i tell you, these SL roads can really make a guy blow his fuse. Repeatedly lol.

Scrumpulicious said...

Confab - You're a star. Thank you. And now I too can knowingly laugh! :)

SpectralCentroid said...

Machang, if you plan to get few guns, go out on the SL roads and shoot down a few fuck-tards behind wheels and traffic cops, invite me too.