I just got a ticket and it wasn't my fault! Ok, i'm sure plenty of people have used that excuse, but hear me out!
So there I was driving my grandma, happily waiting in the single file line on Dickman's road heading towards Galle road. The light turns green, and I calculate that I can safely be the last car through the green light. Just when i reach the front, a blue Honda comes from the right (ON A SINGLE FILE ROAD YOU ASSHOLE! [that was for the cop, not u]) and cuts into me, at which point I take evasive action to avoid getting hit and inadvertently cross the junction on the yellow (AS DID THE BLUE HONDA, YOU STUPID FUCK!).
When I turn into Galle road with my horn blazing, I see a traffic cop and think "thank heavens, now stop that other car and charge him!". Instead the cunt stops me, says I ran the red light. At which point I just let him have it.
Me: "Dakke nadda ara vaahane maawa kapapu hati?" (Did you see how that car cut into me?)
30076 Sujeewa (hereinafter "WHOREliceman") : "oya rathu light eka panna" (You went through the red light)
Me: "eka panne ara vaahanen aynvenna. monawa dihaada oya balaang hitiye?" (I was trying to avoid the other car. what were you looking at?)
WHOREliceman: "oya rathu light eka panna" (you went through a red light)
Me: "AGH!. Dickman's paara one lane paarak neda?" (er. AGH!. Dickman's road is a one lane road, right?)
WHORE (for short): "ow" (yes)
Me: "ara vaahaney eliyen enakota, eya aave varadi paththe nemeida?" (when that other vehicle comes on the outside of me, is he not on the wrong side of the road?)
WHORE: "oya rathu light eka panna" (you went through a red light)
Me: "AGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH. Mama eka panne ara vaahanen ayn venna! eya maawa kapagena issarahata aava. eva oyata penne nadda?" (AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH. I jumped the light to avoid the car! He cut into me and jumped infront. You conveniently didn't see that did you?)
I just can't even remember much beyond that. I grabbed my ticket and walked the fuck away from him, got into my car and drove off.
I met many other nincompoops on the roads today. Today must definitely be "motorists, leave ur brains at home" day. |
